Friday, October 19, 2012

Messages from God

Do you ever know God is talking right to you through your bible? A few years ago when we still lived in the city I had spent a lot of time searching for answers. I had already become a Christian and had been baptised but was still searching because I didn't think becoming a Christian was enough to forgive my sins, and it was shortly after my baptism that I got pregnant with I, and not with my husband(to whom I had already been apart from for years). I also was feeling like I would never be able to remarry anyone since I was still married and divorce is not exactly seen as okay. I had this devotional book that when you opened it one way it had devotions for each morning and when you flipped it over it had devotions for each night. I read the devotion for the day and was praying over it and decided to randomly open my bible up and knew that the first thing I read would be God speaking to me. So I did so (and really wish I had written down the verses back then), but it really got to the heart of what I was asking. So I shut the bible but didn't feel quite done, so I opened it again. Again it was a different verse and applicable so I shut the bible and once again felt not done. (normally once I shut my bible that is that). SO I finally said Lord what on earth are you trying to tell me? Put it in plain english. I reopened my bible and there in red lettering was the words "You are forgiven". And at that moment I felt done. I knew I had gotten his message loud and clear in perfect english.

Today something similar happened and I am dieing to tell someone. Over the last 3 weeks at bible study we have been discussing keeping covenant practices. There has been a lot of talk about God's promises to us and the differences between a covenant and a promise and how we have to do our part to have God bestow His part onto us. I sit through these discussions feeling sorry for myself. Clearly God doesn't find me worthy of these promises, after all what do I have to offer Him? I am not a good Christian, I waver in my faith every other day, I don't even go to church or pray consistently. I have a short temper, judge constantly, and frankly don't particularily like people. None of these are the hallmarks of one of God's people. But then something was said last night that got me thinking. Many of the people God chose to be His people and bestoow the greatest blessings on were the lowliest and most sinful people that turned things around for Him. So tonight I was knitting granny squares (thanks Imp for telling me yesterday how to do them) and talking to God. I was saying how I knew these covenant were made but how in the heck was I worthy of them when I was such a sinner, such a bad Christian. How I am sick of being without a husband but in order to have one again I would have to chose to sin etc.

I got that feeling in my gut that said put down the sinning and pick up your bible. It fell open to Hosea 2:17-19. Now I have never read Hosea before, those pages were pristine so it wasn't because the bible was used to opening there kwim. I will not type out the whole verse because this post is long enough, but you can look it up. But it speaks of a covenant he will make with Isreal and make her His wife, only I didn't feel it was about Isreal but was about me. I felt it was saying if I did my part the covenant being made was a promise that He would be my husband and take care of me, no need for me to sin to find one here kwim. So then I asked how I know that I am living my part and when I randomly openned my bible it was to proverbs 14. As I am reading it I was thinking that I need a bit more help than that my temper gets the better of me often. I closed my bible, randomly opened it again and it came up to proverbs 15.

I know what I need to do to fullfill my part towards teh covenant with God. A covenant that before tonight I did not feel worthy of because I had nothing to give Him. I have a long way to go to correct my thoughts and actions etc bt I have the path before me now and I know that if I follow it God will provide for me as well as any husband would.  I no longer need to worry about my worth, He sees me as worthy.


1 comment:

  1. God has given us so many promises, and He loves you enough to speak to you, just you. <3